This is about a re-reminder and a secret.
I was re-reminded about how there is always the reality of a situation that may have negatively impacted on us and it is us that then weaves interpretations, judgements, our past and our fears around it.
We then paralysis ourselves with analysis and evaluation of a situation that has probably long since passed. Then periodically we revisit it hoping for some more clarity or insight. Heaping more meaning and judgement upon it.
If we revisit the situation with the same angst and fear that was present initially, we will be no further forward. I have seen this happen countless times in clients and indeed myself and I have come to know that no amount of evaluation from this place is helpful and no positive change is possible.
Therefore if you want to reflect or reinterpret a negative situation it must be from a place of forgiveness, acceptance, gentleness and self love.
This ties in with my theme that I wrote about for the new year of backing yourself 100% and that trying to change from a place of negativity is counter-productive.
Therefore I urge you to accept the past negative situation. It happened. You don’t have to be happy about it and you may know that you could have done things better, but you didn’t so stop torturing yourself as you can’t unchange it.
Positive growth and change only happens when we take responsibility for our lives to date and then make decisions which are going to increase our vitality not further diminish it.
I’ll let you in on a secret; trying to grow by criticising, berating, judging and comparing yourself doesn’t work. It does however cause further suffering and gives you more to feel bad about.
May you only make choices that increase your vitality and reduces your suffering.